Dating is one of the most exciting things to do in your leisure time. However, it can get frustrating sometimes. Ohlala is providing you with a survival guide that will turn your next date into a success. Find out what kind of profiles people like, what gets someone chatting, what turns people off, and more. 

Personal Profile

Profile picture

The most important factor in attracting members of our platform is your profile picture. In fact, your profile picture is not only the most important part of your profile but also it is much more important than the first message you are sending to your potential dating partner. 

The majority of members prefer a profile photo that shows your full face. However, avoid using topless shots, formal pictures in a suit or costume, and selfies either. Instead, choose one of your best pictures taken by a friend or acquaintance and pick the one that shows you are a relaxed, fun person.

Profile name

The hobbies we pursue are important to us and we tend to use our online alias to reflect our most fun leisure time activities, but if a hobby does not completely define us it is better to choose a username people on a dating platform can relate to. For example, if you are into spirituality you may choose a username like “SpiritualDiva”. However, choosing this username reduces your versatile personality to that one aspect of your life and it may prevent many attractive dating partners from contacting you. Just imagine you would read a username like “WorldofWarcraftHero” on Ohlala. Would that name attract you if you were not at all into eGaming? 

Both of the mentioned usernames above may be well received in certain circles of your social environment, but a fun username like “SunshineGirl” or “HeLovesLifeBerlin” which describes what people love about you may be more effective when it comes to dating. In particular, men should not use words that are overly sexual or cheesy like “MuscleBoy69” or “DreamGuyBerlin”. Instead, pick a username that expresses that you are a stand-up guy. Choose a name like “NerdyKnightInShiningArmor” for example. At some point, you may tell your potential date your real name. Before you do clean up all your other social media profiles since your real name might give them the opportunity to browse your online history.

Profile content

For many people writing their personal profile is one of the hardest parts of online dating. However, there are only a few things you should keep in mind to master that task: Be sincere and do not hesitate to show a little bit of vulnerability. Open up and talk about what is important to you, but try to avoid sounding like a crazy person, and do not try to impress anyone with your achievements or social status. Instead keep it interesting, short, and fun. 


The first message

If you thought that a compliment is the best way to start a conversation you were wrong. Actually singles appreciate it if you do not just comment on their profile but ask a question because this shows sincere interest. Do not copy and paste your message and send it to numerous Ohlala members. Instead, pick a topic from their profile and use it as a conversation piece. 

The question

Don’t ask right away about the date, but start with small talk to break the ice. It helps if you imagine that it is not your first but your second or third conversation. This will make you act more naturally. If you are shy you can bring it up in a very casual way by saying “You seem to be a very laid-back person and so much fun, I am really looking forward to meeting up with you”. Then go right ahead and talk about the details.

The when and where

If someone is definitely interested in a date with you give a few options for your meeting point, and mix in a few proposals for restaurants and bars. Just make sure that you make proposals for locations you feel comfortable with. No matter your dating budget keep in mind that many people like to go to a leisurely location before doing anything big or out of the ordinary. 

No answer

If you open a chat and your potential dating partner is not answering do not feel discouraged or moan about it under any circumstances. The silence could mean anything from feeling stressed about having many chat requests to simply being busy. Accept every decision, be patient and respectful. You can always try again a few hours later. In case you already had several conversations with that person it might be useful to ask yourself whether you have offended them in any kind of way. For example, writing overly sexual comments is a turn-off for many singles and they will rather ghost you than continue the conversation. Maybe you have talked too much about yourself. This happens not only when you are a self-centered character but also when you are nervous or do not know what to talk about.


The transition from Ohlala to the first date

Stay as long on the Ohlala platform as you feel unsure about meeting someone offline. If you are not sure whether you would like to meet a specific Ohlala member remember that you are not trying to sell yourself. Keep the conversation going to find out more about your potential date and only accept a dating request if you are absolutely sure you want to meet in person. Your mindset should all be about trying to find out if a particular person is meeting your expectations and standards.

First date dos and don’ts

The first moments of a date are mostly the most embarrassing ones. Do not start with an awkward “hello” and do not jump right in by asking a ton of questions. Try to relax and act as if you would meet a good friend. Listen carefully, be understanding and follow up on the conversation by talking about similar stories from your life so your date can relate. You can also talk about your online dating experiences, but do not reveal the number of people you already met. People love exclusivity and want to feel appreciated especially when it comes to dating. 

The payment

When it comes to the payment of your date do not ask about it or make any remarks, just do it. If you had a great first date mention that you would love to continue the date or would like to meet up again, but do not put any pressure on your date by talking straight away about the arrangements. Wait for a positive reaction first.


Romance Scammers

Romance scammers can be identified before you meet them in person. There are several signs and ways to protect yourself from fraud. If you have missed the opportunity and meet up for the first time there are also many alarm signals to consider. For instance, if you realize on your first date that the profile photos did not show the person you are meeting, end the date immediately. In case the behavior of your date is in any way unusual and you feel uncomfortable do not feel obliged to stay, but trust your instincts and common sense. For more tips on how to handle romance scammers please check out the Ohlala security tips (link).

Posted in EN