-Black-
»Is everything all right?«, »Are you all right?«, a voice asks from the darkness. »Black« looks up; a bench in the rain, her short black hair soaked with bitter certainty, which suddenly brings her back to reality: here on this bench, in the rain. She’s sitting there, deaf, unconscious.She doesn’t feel the rain on her skin, she doesn’t feel anything anymore. »What?», »Black« replies as she looks up and sees glances a silhouette. The man leans over her and loans her a spot under his umbrella. »What happened?«, he asks her. Yeah, what actually happened? »Black’s« trying to remember.
It was their last evening, the last encounter between »Black« and D., which escalated so tremendously. A year has passed and they have remained in touch with each other all the time. Sometimes she was in his studio, then he painted her to the music she brought along and nothing happened. Other times she met him in his apartment, then he played with her in his own way, and bathed her desecrated body. Sometimes she only came for his satisfaction just to head home frustrated. A long time she had been waiting for him. He promised her he’d sleep with her. He wanted to, but he never did. »Black« couldn’t accept that and tried to provoke it again.
Months went by and their regular meetings became fewer. Nothing had changed for »Black«, she was still crazy about D’s touches, she saw him as her lover. She fell in love and wanted to continue as before, together as a couple. Only her fantasies have shifted. She’d be comfortable with him, she could be with him. She remembers certain situations in which she knelt in front of him, trying to win him over: »No one will love you the way I do.« D. knew for a long time that it could not continue this way. Her strength had taken ahold and he could no longer keep up with her. She was looking for something else, he wasn’t capable of it. She was too dominant and got angry anytime he disappeared.
»Black« is at his house that night. They’re lying on the couch drinking wine like couples do. She rests on his belly, she feels comfortable in the rhythm of his breathing, licks his sweaty armpit hair through his shirt, kisses his earlobe. D. likes it that she accepts him as he is; his smell when he is not showered, he smiles contentedly as he holds her close. »Black« gets up and undresses in front of him. Slowly she drops her silk dress to the ground, he enjoys the scenario. Underneath, she only wears sensual, black suspenders with matching stockings. D. looks at her, he draws her to himself and strokes her breasts. They’re perfect in shape and softness, he thinks.
She sits between his knees. »Fill me!«, she sighs in his ear longingly while her black painted eyes meet his. She opens his pants, he pulls her hand to the side. »You know that I don’t do that, so just leave it.« The mood changes. »Black« gets angry. »Why you don’t let me?«,»Listen, this is not how it goes, you demand and I don’t like that. I am the one who tells what’s happening next.« He looks down at her with a stern look that turns her on. This look already moved her in so many ways, plenty of times. She’s trying to reopen his pants. He slaps her hand to the side and pulls her by her hair. He grabs her face, staring deep into her eyes. »You want to make me angry, you want it hard? Is that what you want?«, she smiles at him with a dark, almost sarcastic grin that makes D. lose it. He’s been watching their escapades for too long and has been her toy for too long, something he couldn’t possibly accept. »Black« wasn’t the naive submissive slave he wished for, it was »Blonde« who inspired him. »Blonde« questioned nothing, »Red« was pure passion,»Black«, on the other hand, demands constantly.
»You don’t demand anything of me anymore!«, he yells as he grabs her by the arm and pulls her onto the balcony; darkness, rain, only moonlight illuminates the scenery. He bends her over the narrow railing. Up from the 5th floor she can’t see much except the bright moon that blinds her eyes and the rain drowning her face. He spreads her legs and fingers her hard from behind. »Is that what you want?«, he yells at her. »Yes, that’s exactly what I want.« »Black« moans. D. hits her butt with his flat hand several times. »It’s Yes, Sir!«, »YES, SIR!«, she screams back at him and let it happen with pleasure. This one small detail, »Yes, Sir«, turns him on so incredibly – when she forgets it, he freaks out, if he beats it out of her, she’ll get her way. A switch she learned to control.
He leaves her in the rain with her legs spread, half naked except for the suspenders. She can feel the wetness through the stockings at her feet, there on the bald balcony in the middle of Berlin. He comes back with a leather whip with knots at the ends. He strikes her 2,3,4,5 times until her skin is partially detached, he grabs her tits, pinches her nipples. »Black« screams in pain, shutting her mouth.Completely unexpectedly, he forces a vibrator inside her, anal and vaginal. He turns her over, puts her on her knees. He opens his pants and pushes his swollen cock in her mouth. »Fill me!« were the words that would animate his memory and give her so much pleasure. Her make-up is smeared, tears roll over her face. The atmosphere on this balcony is indescribable, minutes become hours. Time stands still. Again he turns her over and bends her over the narrow railing. He gets behind her on his knees, fingers and licks her simultaneously. The rain feels warm, D. gives her more than she expects. Blood runs over his wet fingers, he drinks her sweet juices with pleasure. He touches her open wounds on her tender buttocks, strokes her trembling thighs, feels the wet texture of her stockings, he can only possess her if she remains passive, otherwise he will never desire her again. He makes her come, he knows how to get her there. »Black« wants more and more, even the wounds that encourage him to stop are not enough. »What are we doing here? Look at you, for fuck´s sake!«, D. leaves »Black« sitting on the floor – exhausted in the rain. He puts her clothes in the hallway, without a word he closes the door to the living room. The front door is wide open.
The man and »Black« are sitting on the bench, he lights both of them a cigarette. D. threw her out of his apartment after she asked for more pain and love. He would never succeed in satisfying her as she desires. So he had no other choice. »Black« knows that this situation is difficult to explain and she can’t understand it herself as of now. It would take a few months for her to overcome the pain of rejection and objectively reflect on what got her there. That night, at least she’s left with the silent company & sympathy of a man who cared enough to ask. Under his umbrella they are smoking a cigarette in silence, raindrops rattle past them. This is how they remain.
