»Fuck«
She pulled her dress off over her head
and I saw the panties indented somewhat into the crotch. it’s only human, now we’ve got to do it.
I’ve got to do it, after all that bluff.
it’s like a party–
two trapped idiots.
Under the sheets, after I have snapped off the light
her panties are still on. She expects an opening performance.
I can’t blame her, but wonder why she’s here with me? Where are the other guys? How can you be lucky? Having someone the others have abandoned?
We didn’t have to do it
yet we had to do it.
It was something like establishing new credibility with the income tax man.
I get the panties off. I decide not to tongue her, even then I’m thinking about after it’s over.
We’ll sleep together tonight, trying to fit ourselves inside the wallpaper.
I try, fail, notice the hair on her head, mostly notice the hair on her head and a glimpse of nostrils, piglike
I try it again.
-Charles Bukowski »Fuck«, Love is a Dog from Hell-
»Love is a Dog from Hell«, one of my favorite books by Charles Bukowski, reminds me especially on this wonderful day how brutal love can be sometimes apart from the nice festivities. I was wondering what moves people to give a name to certain days of the year and say, now we are celebrating because we love each other. Why does it always take a reason, a certain date, to justify the existence of things? And who is this Valentine? I will go into this question later on in the article, but at the moment my thoughts revolve only around this commercial event, Valentine’s Day. On that day, when most girlfriends expect a bouquet of flowers from their partner, go out for dinner or experience something else beautiful to crown their love, desperate singles have long since deleted this calendar entry. Whoever is in the fortunate position of having a partner can now scream out loud and say, »Yes, we’re in.«
Valentine’s Day has never been important in my calendar, most of the time I don’t even get it, if not all social media channels would be flooded with it. But can such an event be romantic in one way or another? Could you achieve something new with a countermovement or should you just ignore the day? Many questions, which I cannot answer at this point. Personally, I always like nice gifts from my partner, how about having a naked woman in our bed, for example, to spread even more love. Well, I have special fantasies and I know that they don’t suit every taste, but why not? Surprises are always good, whether on Valentine’s Day or any other day.
In my opinion, it is not about this one love at all, but about the love that we experience among all our fellow human beings, the assurance that nothing can be taken for granted and that we are only aware of this today, on 14 February. But seriously, if you switch your point of view in that angle, this day gets a new feel, everybody will be happy on Valentine’s Day without receiving flowers or fulfilling certain expectations.
A perfect day to treat yourself to a date, like every other day too. A perfect day to just do nothing, like every other day too. A perfect day to give love, just like every other day too.
Oh, holy Valentine, who are you, and what do you want from me anyway? This question is not so easy to answer either, because many different traditions make Valentine a mystery. I am now referring to a particular story, because I find it most exciting and it gives Valentine’s Day a certain melancholy.
According to this legend, the Italian bishop Valentine was the godfather in the third century AD. He was a gardener and gave flowers from his monastery garden to couples in love. Then he married them. St. Valentine’s was of Catholic origin and so Valentine’s Day is traced back to an ecclesiastical tradition. However, the then emperor Claudius did not like this romantic custom. He wanted soldiers for his army, not effeminate husbands. So the bishop was beheaded without further ado and Valentine’s Day was given its place in the calendar. Before the poor Valentin was decapitated, however, he is said to have written a love letter to the daughter of his prison warden. On 14 February 269 AD, a special day arose, which the Catholic Church linked to a holiday in Rome. A day that solely ended sadly because Bishop Valentin gave away flowers and married couples.
There you have it: besides all these festivities, love is associated with so much suffering, heartache, in the worst case, like that of the Bishop, even death. He had only good things in mind. Perhaps today we remember once again the love we share with many people every day, remembering to give more than we expect, not to despair when we are alone for a while. For that is the greatest love of all, self-love. Many gifts lurk on the path of reflection, the readiness for the one, completely natural, physical, instinctive.
Happy Valentines Day!