Whenever Eva has her period, she dreams differently. They’re brutal dreams, bloody dreams. Bathed in sweat, she wakes up and is happy to have landed in the present. Imaginative dreams accompany her from childhood, she can always tell about them and many of them are particularly abstract. Once, just as she was smoking her first cigarette, she remembered: she was smoking a cigarette and could see her cilia standing in the blue haze. She cursed herself for staining her virgin lungs. Sometimes it takes her several hours to realize that it was just a dream and that she has long since arrived in reality. The distinctions between two worlds are hardly tangible for Eva, often she mixes illusion with truth.
Sleepy she staggers to the bathroom. She wipes the drops of sweat from her forehead and sits down on the toilet. Thick blood drips into the bowl. She knows this is the end, just one more day and her period would be over. She inserts a tampon in her vagina and puts on a dress. It’s summer and Eva never wears underwear. She loves the feeling of the wind on her skin when a gust lightly loops her dress. Especially in company she finds this more than exciting and at the same time disturbing. What if the dress was completely upwind and the guests got a direct view of her round, tender breasts, the rope between her legs, a little drop of blood that sets off on its journey? She has such thoughts while she cuts the cake on her sister’s birthday party in a cheerful family gathering. Her sister Änne is celebrating her 30th birthday and it should be big. Friends, cousins, uncles, aunts, old and new affairs, all have come to celebrate this day from the early morning hours into the night. They would get drunk, dance, fight, desire each other one way or another.
Änne gives her little sister a juicy kiss on the cheek and hands her the first liquor. It is only 9 o’clock and Eva has just became legal. She drinks the booze and disparagingly distorts her little mouth. She sticks out her tongue and wipes off the lips on the back of her hand. Then she joins the others and listens to the cheerful conversations. As always, Änne has moved into the spotlight, not only because of her special day, but because it is simply her way. She likes to entertain and then always tells great stories. Sometimes Eva thinks of a play in the theatre house of the small village community. She looks up to her big sister, she wants to be loved as much as she does. She looks at all the men who lie at her feet and who usually retreat with a broken heart to admit shortly afterwards that they just can’t let go. So they became lovers, Änne has much to give, one person alone could not absorb that. She enjoys life to the fullest and lets only those in her heart who are sincerely interested in her, who show her appreciation and attention. They then belong to the family, a family that she has sought beside her own and likes to fall back on whenever she feels like it.
The English oak tree invites to reflect. Eva strolls over, sits in front of it and enjoys a moment of silence.
Unobserved, she lifts her dress and looks between her legs. She pulls the bloody tampon out of her vagina and strokes her labia with her fingertips. She rubs the thick blood in circling movements over the inner thighs and wipes it off again with a leaf from the oak tree. The boy next door approaches her, she flinches briefly, but he is still too far away to see what has just happened. Eva crosses her legs and pushes the dress down. The boy is a few years younger than Eva, 16 she estimates, they have never really talked, but somehow she likes him. He’s tall, a bit lanky, he seems goofy but still very curious. Eva thinks she sees the right amount of filth in him.
The boy sits down and starts a conversation with cool phrases. »What up though?«, he asks clumsy. Eva doesn’t answer, she looks at his lap and then back into his brown eyes. He reminds her of a little puppy, panting and waiting for the next task, she thinks. So it is their duty to teach him something to free him from this uncertainty. »Long time no see. How are you, Eva?« Eva presses her fingers on his lips and notices remains of blood on them. He flinches and is confused. »Eva, you’re bleeding.« She sits on his lap with a jerk and kisses him passionately. He’s letting it happen. For a long time he has been attracted to her, he has secret fantasies that might now come true. »Have you ever slept with a woman?«, asks Eva with a bold smile while she massages his aroused cock through his pants with the other hand. The boy shakes his head. »Have you ever kissed a bloody woman?«, »Because you know, that means life, I’m fecund, untouched and ready to give myself completely in this state.«
Longingly he watches Eva, the blond strands cling to her lips. They kiss in the summer wind. Then they lie down in the grass, which is still slightly covered with dew. Eva pushes her dress up and he looks at the blood on her legs. He tries to wipe it off with his fingers, but it’s already dried up. »Go ahead!« Eva takes his hand, leads it to her groin, strokes her vulva, her thick pubic hair and finally she stuffes his index finger into her vagina. The boy pulls out his finger and looks at it in the sunlight. Only a few remains of dark, almost brownish blood are still running down his thin limbs. Eva longs for more. She opens his fly and gazes at a beautiful, youthful penis. At this moment she realizes that she has never seen a more beautiful one before, not in porn movies or with other boys who opened their pants carelessly for her.
She puts the swollen cock in her mouth, wraps her wet lips around it and works it like a candy stick. She sucks, kisses and caresses his sex. She kneads his testicles, presses them alternately between her teeth and blows hot air into them. The boy can hardly pull himself together and Eva notices that he is about to come. She quickly evades him, spits out his penis and no longer touches him. The boy does not know what is happening to him, he must touch Eva, kiss her and finally penetrate her. He would lick her bloody labia and sink his innocent cock into her maturity. He takes over, throws himself at the wild Eva, who provokes him shamelessly. She should get what she wants so much. He spreads her legs, caresses her clitoris, licks her labia and kisses her mouth. A rusty taste grazes her tongue. He mounts her and penetrates her. Both moan loudly and keep their mouths shut, the garden party is only a few meters away. Eva is so tight and his cock way too big. They fuck in the damp grass, she feels his weight on her body, as he almost takes her air to breathe. He comes and lets himself roll on his side exhausted. Eva looks between her legs again, wipes off the mixture of blood and the sticky sperm residues and looks at it in the morning sunbeam. The colour has changed and the consistency has become thicker. This is the start of a wonderful era, she thinks. This is the time when life begins.