The first time


Time and what remains: At 50, Sam tries to understand where all his precious minutes have gone. He has written them down, only on the basis of his books, which have meanwhile gained a lot of recognition, Sam realizes that half of his lifetime is long gone. When he travels now to present his works, he contemplates all the time, maybe this time it’s my last time in Paris, maybe it’s the last time I enter my favorite café. Mary, the young agent of Sam often accompanies him to international book presentations, her relationship has developed over the years to a friendship with certain advantages. Mary understands him and admires him at the same time.

She made an effort as an author herself, but her books received little attention. Sam is her teacher, he teaches her writing, he corrects her texts to shape them to something better. During reading trips, they sometimes lay together in hotel beds with books from the house library. Then they read to each other and caress their naked bodies.

Sam feels strongly attracted to younger women, he desires their light-heartedness, that of an unharmed youthfulness. Mary is 28 years old, all his ex-wives were not older than 35, and he himself appears to be very young, in his behavior, in his choice of clothes and outward appearance, thanks to his mother’s good genes. It was only through his knowledge and what people could hear from his books that you could discover his age.

In one week a little trip to Europe begins. Destinations are: Paris, Barcelona, Berlin and Munich. Mary will accompany him on all these journeys and provide him with erotic company in the evening hours. He is looking forward to this tour, again he views melancholically towards the future, maybe this is the last time, he thinks.


In Munich Mary would meet her aunt, she hasn’t seen her in such a long time. The distance from Mexico to Germany makes regular meetings difficult. For two nights Mary and Sam stay in Munich and Sam hoped to share them with Mary. Her aunt, however, has other plans and wants to move in with Mary. At the hotel bar alone, frustrated Sam takes a few glasses of cognac and falls back into his complex world of thoughts. Today and also the next night he would spend alone, sometimes he feared his dreams, he did not want to fall asleep alone anymore.

At that moment a woman shows up, she had been watching Sam at the bar and she’s heading for him. »Did you write this book? That’s you, isn’t it?«, she asks him. She is holding one of his first issues in her hand, this book is the only thing he really liked. He recognizes the lightness in his words, at the beginning of his career his thoughts were still unbiased. He looks at the young woman at his side. She proves good taste, he thinks to himself and she also looks stunning. Tall, slender, dark hair, blue eyes, a tight black sheath dress, high heels, perhaps in her early 30’s. She reminds him of the elegance of women from old film noir scenes, the women moved differently, they knew how to give a certain meaning to the room with a few words. Together with her he allowed himself another cognac and that’s the beginning of their communication: Eleonore was born in Mexico, but has been living in Munich for a few years now. She has accompanied Sam’s works since childhood.


The conversation deepens quickly and Eleonore tells him about her second line of work. She knows how to enjoy life, she knows what she wants. She knows that with this statement she shocks men and at the same time cloaks them in a longing fantasy. With the simple words: »I meet men for sex and get paid for it«, she shakes the listener in a positive way. She has often chosen, tested and found these words to be appropriate. Sam is also a little surprised, after she throws out this line so boldly and inhales a deep drag of her cigarette, she nevertheless remains calm, strangely sovereign. Hardly any change is noticeable. How many men have already lost their mind like that, Sam wonders.

Sam had never paid a woman for sex before, he was aware of his attractiveness, he has the charm of an introverted, very emotional writer.

Women loved him for his attention when he touched their bodies, it was as if he was paying homage to something precious. Each one was a love affair in itself and none of them deserved less than all he has to give. He celebrated sex for hours, not only the act was his fulfillment, but also the fusion of the physical and mental.

He had never had superficial sex before, such a thing did not exist in his vocabulary at all and that is exactly why the idea of having sex with a prostitute can’t be an an option, not for him. But Eleonore has something he could not avoid: profound, educated, extremely attractive and he don’t want to be alone that night. He would pay her for her company because she doesn’t know any other way, and this habit gives him a great sense of understanding. This can’t not be a coincidence, this is predetermined. Eleonore and Sam are leaving the hotel bar. While they stroll across the long corridors, Sam comes up with a strange thought: at 50 he would experience something like this for the first time, it was the first time, maybe the last, but there was still such thing as a first. Smiling, he leads Eleonore into his apartment.


The next morning he sits at breakfast with Mary. They are preparing for the book presentation, which will take place in a few hours in the hotel foyer. Sam doesn’t say much, but Mary recognizes a happy, slightly altered Sam. When she asks him what he did yesterday, he describes his evening in every detail. Mary looks down mournfully, she would have loved to have been there.