Lena’s plan of happiness
Suite A: Lena looks around, touches the beige curtains with her fingertips and gets a glimpse of the French balcony behind it. She goes to the bathroom and takes a shower. Then she closes the curtains and puts a towel on the bed. She sits down on the towel in a bathrobe. There’s a knock on the door, she gets up. A man steps inside. They look at each other. He reaches under Lena’s bathrobe with his nibbled fingertips. They continue to look at each other without knowing each other, without really knowing what the other person likes, how the other one is, strangers, silence. He massages her soft labia, he pushes his fingers in and out of her. He rubs the juice over her mouth. Lena lies naked on the towel, which she has laid over the bed sheet. The man bends over her. He’s fully clothed. He uses his legs to spread her thighs and repeats the process. He dips his nibbled fingertips in and out of her. He massages her soft labia. He rubs the juice over her face and sniffs her like an animal.
Suite B: Lena brushes her teeth in the modern design bathroom and looks at her reflection. She drapes the fur rug in front of the bed. She lies down on the fur rug. She caresses the fur with her fingertips, she pushes her fingernails under it, she likes the feeling of this fluffy texture. A man comes from behind and slowly lies down on Lena’s naked body. He is chubby and very hairy, almost as fluffy as the rug. He’s penetrating her. Lena notices his hairy chest on her back, on her buttocks, between her legs and feels wrapped in a soft texture of fur and hair. After the intercourse they lie on the sperm stained mat for a while. He lies with his back to her, Lena looks at his furry back. She’s never seen a man with so much hair. She caresses his black strands and weaves a braid out of them. She turns his arm, lays it over her chest with a peaceful smile on her face.
Suite C: Lena moves a cream coloured armchair at the end of the bed and places a pillow in front of it. She sits naked on the chair and spreads her legs wide. An old man kneels on the pillow between her legs and starts licking her vagina. His skin is shriveled, dry. Lena touches his back with her fingers while he massages her clitoris with his tongue and kisses her labia. She feels cracks, unevenness, dryness. Her skin would soon also die of thirst, piece by piece. Then who would still love her? Who would want to desire her, sleep with her, pet her, caress her? A feeling of bliss overwhelms her as the old man brings her to climax. After leaving the suite, Lena returns the chair to its original position and places the pillow on the bed. Then she takes a hot bubble bath.
Apartment 12: Lena comes home. At home an attractive husband and two children await her. Respect and appreciation have connected Lena and Mike for over 15 years. Lena is in her mid 40s, a beautiful and successful woman. She couldn’t feel more comfortable, couldn’t be more fulfilled in her family, a family she wanted so much. When she sleeps with Mike, it’s different, it’s loving, yet passionate, never has waning desire played a role in her married life. When she meets other men, above anything else she feels a certain hunger, a deep longing for certain physical characteristics, details that renounce the typical ideal of beauty, details that she wants to perceive very precisely. Like the hairy man, the old man and the man with the nibbled fingernails. She chose these men. For Lena it is not a question of happiness, she is more than pleased in her marriage together with Mike and the children. Her decision to rent apartments, to meet men, to sexually expose herself to them has nothing to do with deception for her, she follows her natural instinct without questioning how Mike would feel about it. She would never leave him, she loves him and he is her home. She finds it difficult to explain these tendencies, she surrenders to the impulsive desire.
The nights get lonelier after Lena confesses her sexual experiences. Openness was always important in her relationship, so at some point she felt compelled to tell him those things. She explained the situation to him, completely rational and he listened to her. Mike can’t quite understand her, he tries to recognize his wife, again and again he takes himself to the places she has shown him herself, the apartments with the corresponding fantasies. He sees Lena in all these perversions, the fat, hairy and old men. Lena can’t explain herself, she can only be with him in the here and now. He lies on her naked chest, many unanswered questions ghost through his head. Lena lovingly strokes his hair and thinks: »At the moment that’s all I need to be happy.«