Sensation seeking: Also called excitement seeking, is the tendency to pursue sensory pleasure and excitement. It’s the trait of people who go after novelty, complexity, and intense sensations, who love experience for its own sake, and who may take risks in the pursuit of such experience. Sensation seekers are »easily bored without high levels of stimulation.«
A morning melancholy overshadows their being together. Tilda wishes to be alone again, as she often does on days when she sits with her lover at breakfast. Why not skipping this process? She thinks while she hastily dumps away the far too hot coffee and punishes Sebastian’s company with disapproval. She creates a cruel distance and she is always aware of it. Sometimes she simply disappeared in the middle of the night and felt so good. Sebastian has reached an agreement with her, or rather, he has put the gun on her chest. When she is with him, she stays until the next morning, otherwise he doesn’t want to see her again. For him, being with Tilda means everything, even if he can only own her half. He cannot help but love her the way she is and he draws from those moments that gradually flood his heart with loneliness. He looks longingly into her eyes and Tilda remembers their last night together to distance herself from her present condition.
With a bottle of wine she stood in front of Sebastian’s door and entered his apartment with caution. She knew she could come and go whenever she wanted, without hurrying. As always, Sebastian had prepared himself perfectly. There was no blemish on his apartment or on his person, everything seemed tidy to her, the control he always kept made a mark, she only too gladly turned this order into chaos. Sebastian had cooked, but she refused. So they sat silently opposite each other at the kitchen table and Tilda recognized the disappointment in his face. She found this expression more than exciting and slowly unbuttoned her blouse. She played with her sensual charms. Like a prey she watched him as he lost his disappointment about the cooked meal with every single button that opened in front of his eyes, and instead would throw himself hungrily at her. Tilda dropped the blouse to the floor and exposed her round breasts, which couldn’t be more perfect in shape. She spread her legs so that Sebastian could take a look at her sex. As always, she wore no panties under her black silk skirt, shameless as she is. Sebastian’s expression darkened. Then she crawled under the table and dived up between his legs with her blond curly head. She opened his fly and sucked his stiff cock. She looked expectantly into his eyes and knew that this step would awaken his dominance. As soon as Tilda presented her wicked side and try to took the lead, Sebastian lost control. Suddenly he slapped her in the face, threw her on the table and pressed her breasts together with both of his hands. Sebastian said goodbye to his role as victim and turned into the animal she loved most. Everything went pretty fast.
The scenario: Sebastian pushed his fingers under Tilda’s skirt and noticed how damp she was. He licked his fingers and then stuck his fingers in her mouth. He squeezed her neck and penetrated her. He strangled her and repeatedly pushed his cock into her sex as she tried to struggle for air. He turned her on her stomach, pulled her skirt up, spanked her buttocks with several violent blows until Tilda stopped screaming and her skin turned red. He squeezed her neck violently with his hands and spat on her swollen buttocks. Then he freed one of his hands from her neck and rubbed his saliva over her anus. He pushed his cock into her bottom without preparation and Tilda screamed loudly. His pulsating limb sank into her tight bottom and he enjoyed the resistance. Sebastian didn’t ask for understanding, never, once Tilda provoked him, he lose his caring attitude, almost manic, like a wolf who didn’t ask his prey for consent, his pupils darkened and he grasped mercilessly. And she desired him even more. For two years Sebastian and Tilda had been bringing themselves into this ecstatic states. Tilda needed more and more impulses and only Sebastian could give it to her. She wasn’t just gasping for air, she also struggled for incessantly recurring sensations.
They were violent attacks, which Sebastian always overpowered and which Tilda didn’t want to miss out. It was a compromise she made for him to satisfy her needs at this level. She stayed for him until the next morning and could hardly bear the sight. It just didn’t fit together. She loved Sebastian cruelly and selfishly, she hated his compassionate nature and how he changed with all the actions that took place outside her shared intimacy; how he changed from a pitiless wolf to a helpless stag.
At this very moment he tenderly kisses her hands, puts on new coffee and forces her to stay, with his ridiculously staged relationship concept. Tilda wasn’t much fond of it, so she opens her dressing gown, spreads her voluptuous thighs again and begins to masturbate as she watches Sebastian; how he’s standing there whistling and enjoying her company. How he carefully filters the water before tipping it into the machine. How he drops the coffee can as he turns around and faces Tilda like this. How he falls straight to his knees, crawls to her on all fours and sinks with his head between her thighs. How he breathes her smell inside, how he pushes his tongue deep into her sex and turns back into the animal that she always misses.