Analfant Terrible



The other day I was sitting with my friend Jane in our favorite bar in Friedrichshain. As always, the atmosphere was relaxed; we drank wine and talked for hours about personal events, things we hadn’t discussed since the last meeting and came across a topic that I had been philosophizing about for quite some time and later researched: »Anal Bleaching!«

I thought about what it would be like to keep your back door open for such curious embellishments and what it would even change. When the partner suddenly notices that the color around the anus is brightened and resembles the porcelain tone of my delicate thighs. Would that create more desire, would he even notice it? Or is it just about one’s own projection, the feeling of presenting oneself perfectly to one’s counterpart and not ignoring even the most delicate areas? I also thought about the different methods of polishing the anus with acidic creams, whether you do it yourself or go straight to the doctor. Of course I knew about all the cosmetic surgeries, which besides labia reduction, the Botox treatment of testicles or the lengthening of the penis with Hyaluron have not only found favor in the porn industry, so this special form of embellishment did not surprise me at all. Jane reacted with a violent gesture of her hand and almost tipped all the wine over the table. »It was unbelievable what kind of ideas people came up with«, she said, and for a long time we paused to talk about procedures, risks and all the different treatments that people undergo in order to do justice to the blurred aesthetic ideal. A good moment to bring literally »light into the darkness« with the phenomenon »anal bleaching«, I thought.


The procedure:

In order to brighten the anal area, substances containing hydroquinone are used for depigmentation. You can decide whether you prefer the permanent laser method, cryotherapy or whitening with creams. All procedures should take place under medical supervision and should be monitored carefully. With the laser version, an anaesthetic ointment is applied beforehand and then the dark skin areas around the anus are removed with a pixel CO2 laser. A treatment, which leads fast to desired results, costs approx. 600€ and can be settled easily in the lunch break. Experts advise against DIY bleaching creams for at home. These can cause unsightly skin reactions. In cryotherapy, skin layers are modified by extreme cold so that the zone around the anus appears lighter afterwards. However, it must be carried out by an expert in a clinic and requires a longer recovery time.


The risks:

Creams that lighten pigmentation disorders or freckles have been around for a long time, but in some cases exactly these creams were used for anal bleaching. The mucous membrane on the anus has a different texture and reacts much more sensitively. As a result, the acidic ingredients can irritate these skin areas. Itching, redness and skin rashes are the result – sometimes even allergies can occur. Various cancer risks have not yet been clarified, especially with lotions containing hydroquinone.



For me personally, anal bleaching belongs to an alienating innovation that nobody needs. As much as I tried to imagine how my rosette could sparkle and shine in the end and completely lose my partner’s mind, it simply didn’t work. Only my thoughts faded in the face of the idea of melting pigments under a laser, which actually do not cause any stress or are subject to disease. Jane’s thunderous laughter also worried me.


Once upon a time…

Once upon a time there was a starlet in America, who lived this trend of anal bleaching quite uninhibitedly and so the hype began, at least in the USA. A cosmetic intervention, which, by the way, man and woman can perform equally.

A doctor said in this connection: »An expression of a precarious development of our society.« Perhaps one should not see it that strict, because in the end I always follow my statement: »Whatever works!« If the unloved discolorations on the anus simply burden you, then go to the doc, but if the origins simply emerge from an artificial media world, then perhaps you would rather look into yourself and philosophize about what bleached genitals would actually change; so whether it would improve the quality of life, whether one could even enjoy its refreshed appearance at all, whether one would perhaps only do this for a person who, in a certain position, wishes to have perfect color matching instead of a natural color change, or whether one has perhaps already had too many cosmetic operations performed on oneself recently? Hmmm …

And the moral of the story is:

»Preserve your assholes darkened glory!«