The better chat



In my last article I gave a detailed comment about the first impression, and how it is expressed in the virtual world of Ohlala, because we know exactly how quickly an opinion decides on further preparatory measures on the basis of just one photo: do I get involved with my counterpart because he excites me, because this first impression makes me want to go on an offline date, or do I let it go, because the view rather arouses negative feelings in me? A simple photo creates trust or mistrust, everyone should be aware of this before taking arbitrary snapshots of themselves on the Internet. Thus a »dick pic«, which some users would like to give as the first thing on his profile side for the best, can naturally cause only negative feelings, because the person has forgotten to represent a crucial, but important characteristic, namely the authority to seduce with intelligence. No wonder, therefore, that we do not allow such representations in our community because they violate our guidelines on the one hand and because we demand better communication between people on the other. And this brings us directly to the topic: in my opinion it is the same with chatting as with the photographs, the first impression is decisive here!


Profile texts and open chats

My dear men, it’s time to direct something important here, because only you can write profile texts and win the female users for you. This will tell you whether they really want to apply for your requests or should rather ban the profiles from their mobile phones.

Requests like:

»Which lady wants a good fuck today?«,

»Looking for a woman for oral sex and a vagina to fill.«,

»30min with you having oral sex, sexual intercourse = 80€«,

»I just want anal sex for an hour.«,

definitely don’t whet appetite for erotic perspectives!

On the one hand, Ohlala is not about pure sex trade and on the other hand, women are not a commodity. So just imagine what kind of ads you would actually send and then reflect on your own lines. Nobody wants to react to such banal ideas and of course you feel directly positioned one lower level. Sometimes I have the feeling that many of you still don’t understand what we want to do with a dating platform like this.

Ohlala is a paid date app that brings people with different needs together and of course the service provided is paid for. Basically the same as when you decide to take an erotic massage or need help with physical closeness because you have forgotten how it should feel like. Please do not lower the level: because everyone has the right to equal intimacy.

I believe that once you have found certainty that no matter what you do, no matter what you send out and what you actually want to achieve with it, everything comes back to you instantly and in the same intensity. If you project this thought onto yourself, if you think about how you would like to be treated, how you would like to be written to, addressed to, then everyone gets a feeling of honest empathy. 


After all these negative examples of profile advertisements there are of course also many exceptions with interesting contents, to which female users then particularly gladly announce themselves:

»We have dinner and drinks to get to know each other better. Then we end in my bed if the sympathy is mutual«,

»I like confident, fun-loving women with style who have the courage to be weak and willing.«,

»You & Me and french Champagne!«

With these words, it’s easy to keep countless options open and pave the way to profitable meetings.

In the chat itself counts: Less is more! Because in the end everyone wants to use their time well to turn the online date into an offline date. With direct questions, which meet with agreement, one can arrange oneself and discuss all other topics locally. Why should such explicit messages as »Which positions do you like in bed or do you swallow?«, be discussed beforehand? I always think that a lot, if not everything, is possible if you do not anticipate the fantasy of the future reality and thus run the risk that the female users already feel harassed. Of course you can chat about certain preferences and of course you should be able to choose freely from the possibilities, which especially turn on. But what traces can pictures and a small approach really leave behind in the written conversation? I refer again to Amor Towles ideas and repeat gladly:

»After all, what can a first impression tell us about someone we’ve just met for a minute in the lobby of a hotel? For that matter, what can a first impression tell us about anyone? Why, no more than a chord can tell us about Beethoven, or a brushstroke about Botticelli. By their very nature, human beings are so capricious, so complex, so delightfully contradictory, that they deserve not only our consideration, but our reconsideration—and our unwavering determination to withhold our opinion until we have engaged with them in every possible setting at every possible hour.«


….Happy Dating!…